So, I've been having a hard time lately. I just want to curl up in bed and just lay there until I'm ready to get up. I'm so sick of being tired, sad, hungry, upset, and angry. I'd like to go back to being happy, please.
I have to weigh-in on Friday and I'm nervous that I'm losing momentum. I need to start exercising and I need to be hardcore about it too. Pilates 3x/week and walking/running 3x/week, NO MATTER WHAT!
I need to weigh 250 by Friday and then 240 by the time I move back to Cloud (Aug 22).
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My Plan of Action
Seeing as how I am 20-years-old, 5' 6", and weight 250 pounds, my life could use a little bit of a re-vamp. Welcome to my "selfish period". I am going to be taking care of myself and focusing on doing whatever it takes to get what I want. I thought that I'd share my plan with my readers, plus my blog is just a great place to get out my thoughts, as I'm sure the plan will change and evolve as time goes on. So here it is, if you guys have any tips or suggestions, feel free to leave a comment!
Lose Weight:
*Pilates 3 times per week
*Walk 3 times per week
*Eat 1,210 - 1,560 calories per day
*Burn around 1,000 calories per workout day
Feel Better:
*Teach people how to treat me
*Not let people walk all over me anymore
*Channel my own inner version of Katie Wessel
*Go after what I want and not let anything stop me
Look Better:
*New clothes
*Get my hair done (I haven't gotten it done since the beginning of December 2009) and maybe add some pink or purple
*Gage my ears
*Pierce my nose, lip, and anti-eyebrow
*Find my perfect everyday make-up look
*Buy some cool make-up and experiment
*Tan
*Get more sleep (which would be easier if I weren't up at 1 AM blogging)
*Find a super cute and fun new look
Get the Guy:
*Be the stripper, the librarian, and one of the guys (Libby will get this, ha ha ha.)
*Have fun
*Not worry so much about the little things
*Be more aloof
Lose Weight:
*Pilates 3 times per week
*Walk 3 times per week
*Eat 1,210 - 1,560 calories per day
*Burn around 1,000 calories per workout day
Feel Better:
*Teach people how to treat me
*Not let people walk all over me anymore
*Channel my own inner version of Katie Wessel
*Go after what I want and not let anything stop me
Look Better:
*New clothes
*Get my hair done (I haven't gotten it done since the beginning of December 2009) and maybe add some pink or purple
*Gage my ears
*Pierce my nose, lip, and anti-eyebrow
*Find my perfect everyday make-up look
*Buy some cool make-up and experiment
*Tan
*Get more sleep (which would be easier if I weren't up at 1 AM blogging)
*Find a super cute and fun new look
Get the Guy:
*Be the stripper, the librarian, and one of the guys (Libby will get this, ha ha ha.)
*Have fun
*Not worry so much about the little things
*Be more aloof
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Life has been weird for a while. Things got bad, then they got weird, and now they're slowly but surely getting back to "normal" again. That guy I mentioned last time, remember? Well, that's over. Whatever. I knew it wasn't going anywhere and I sort of didn't want it to. I was just having some fun.
Life goes on. Besides, it's time for me to focus on me. I'm concentrating on what I want and what I need to do to get it. I am going to do whatever it takes to make myself happy. I've been worrying about what other people think and what other people need for twenty years now, it's my turn.
Life goes on. Besides, it's time for me to focus on me. I'm concentrating on what I want and what I need to do to get it. I am going to do whatever it takes to make myself happy. I've been worrying about what other people think and what other people need for twenty years now, it's my turn.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
40 Things I Like About You...
Dear Addy,
I know you have days where you just hate everything about yourself and I know you haven't had one in a while but you know that they come without any warning so I decided to make a list of my favorite things about you, just to remind you on those awful days that there are lots of things that I like about yourself. These are the things I love about you…
1. The angry feeling you get when you've looked for something and then find it in an obvious place.
2. How when your hair dries naturally it turns into ultra-wavy "Mermaid Hair."
3. How much you love your friends.
4. How protective you are of your Nana, she's 62 and you know full-well she can take care of herself yet you WILL kick the ass of ANY and EVERYONE who tries to fuck with her.
5. The fact that YOU do actually enjoy Twilight but you’re so ashamed of it that YOU refuse, as a 20-year-old woman, to wear your shirt or display your posters anymore.
6. That you have a best friend who is about as retarded as YOU are.
7. That your bedroom looks like a box of Crayola markers had too much to drink and puked all over your room.
8. That your bedroom is full of a 2-bedroom apartment's worth of stuff.
9. That YOU know almost all of the words to "Bust a Move", "Tricky", and "Ice Ice Baby".
9 1/2. That knowing all the words to these songs is a personal goal.
10. How dumb you get when you talk to cute boys.
11. How you are physically and mentally incapable of leaving ANYONE a coherent voicemail.
12. That you’re finally brave enough to chase down your dreams/what you want.
13. That you’re still terrified to chase down your dreams/what you want.
14. How you can interpret a friend not calling you back as the end of our friendship, because you’re nuts.
15. That you’re the endearing type of crazy, not the scary kind that doesn't get invited to parties/outings.
16. That you don't even have a boyfriend (or the prospect of one) and you know what you want your bridesmaids' dresses to look like (and who your bridesmaids are). Ba ha.
17. That your life is very rigidly planned out for the next 3-4 years.
18. That you’re happy and your life is good.
19. That you’re a total neat freak but your room is always 3 feet deep in a mixture of clean and dirty laundry.
20. That there's more than one thing on this list.
21. Your OBSESSION with hot pink, zebra print, and polka dots.
22. That YOU have a ton of cute, girly clothes, yet you always seem to be wearing jeans and t-shirts.
23. Your love for high heels.
23 1/2. Despite this love you usually wear Chucks or flip-flops.
24. How proud of yourself you are/have been for these past few months.
25. The fact that every time you hear the name Dave Ramsey you roll your eyes, yet next to your bed is sitting "The Total Money Makeover Workbook" by one Dave Ramsey.
26. That you will eat an entire Chipotle burrito, then feel like dying for the next 4-7 hours, then the next time, instead of not eating the whole burrito you eat the whole thing.
27. That you can make people smile and laugh.
28. That you have guy friends who will hug you goodbye and tell you they love you.
29. That you own one bra and one pair of jeans and wash them every other day because you HATE shopping for jeans and bras.
30. That you buy underwear in bulk because you love it.
31. That you can never find any fucking socks because the sock goblins steal them from your room.
32. When you’re stressed or sad, you lay on your parents' kitchen floor.
33. That you’re a metal head at heart but you love, love, love the shitty pop on KDWB.
34. That you love Nickelback and you refuse to be made to feel bad about it.
35. What a total bitch you can be, usually to the people you love the most.
36. That it takes everything in you to get up and workout but once you start, it's really difficult for you to stop.
37. That you still use hitting as a very important flirting tool.
38. What a "big, dumb nerd" you are.
39. How anal retentive you are (if you know me, you know all about this).
40. That usually you like the cover of a song better than the original.
I know you have days where you just hate everything about yourself and I know you haven't had one in a while but you know that they come without any warning so I decided to make a list of my favorite things about you, just to remind you on those awful days that there are lots of things that I like about yourself. These are the things I love about you…
1. The angry feeling you get when you've looked for something and then find it in an obvious place.
2. How when your hair dries naturally it turns into ultra-wavy "Mermaid Hair."
3. How much you love your friends.
4. How protective you are of your Nana, she's 62 and you know full-well she can take care of herself yet you WILL kick the ass of ANY and EVERYONE who tries to fuck with her.
5. The fact that YOU do actually enjoy Twilight but you’re so ashamed of it that YOU refuse, as a 20-year-old woman, to wear your shirt or display your posters anymore.
6. That you have a best friend who is about as retarded as YOU are.
7. That your bedroom looks like a box of Crayola markers had too much to drink and puked all over your room.
8. That your bedroom is full of a 2-bedroom apartment's worth of stuff.
9. That YOU know almost all of the words to "Bust a Move", "Tricky", and "Ice Ice Baby".
9 1/2. That knowing all the words to these songs is a personal goal.
10. How dumb you get when you talk to cute boys.
11. How you are physically and mentally incapable of leaving ANYONE a coherent voicemail.
12. That you’re finally brave enough to chase down your dreams/what you want.
13. That you’re still terrified to chase down your dreams/what you want.
14. How you can interpret a friend not calling you back as the end of our friendship, because you’re nuts.
15. That you’re the endearing type of crazy, not the scary kind that doesn't get invited to parties/outings.
16. That you don't even have a boyfriend (or the prospect of one) and you know what you want your bridesmaids' dresses to look like (and who your bridesmaids are). Ba ha.
17. That your life is very rigidly planned out for the next 3-4 years.
18. That you’re happy and your life is good.
19. That you’re a total neat freak but your room is always 3 feet deep in a mixture of clean and dirty laundry.
20. That there's more than one thing on this list.
21. Your OBSESSION with hot pink, zebra print, and polka dots.
22. That YOU have a ton of cute, girly clothes, yet you always seem to be wearing jeans and t-shirts.
23. Your love for high heels.
23 1/2. Despite this love you usually wear Chucks or flip-flops.
24. How proud of yourself you are/have been for these past few months.
25. The fact that every time you hear the name Dave Ramsey you roll your eyes, yet next to your bed is sitting "The Total Money Makeover Workbook" by one Dave Ramsey.
26. That you will eat an entire Chipotle burrito, then feel like dying for the next 4-7 hours, then the next time, instead of not eating the whole burrito you eat the whole thing.
27. That you can make people smile and laugh.
28. That you have guy friends who will hug you goodbye and tell you they love you.
29. That you own one bra and one pair of jeans and wash them every other day because you HATE shopping for jeans and bras.
30. That you buy underwear in bulk because you love it.
31. That you can never find any fucking socks because the sock goblins steal them from your room.
32. When you’re stressed or sad, you lay on your parents' kitchen floor.
33. That you’re a metal head at heart but you love, love, love the shitty pop on KDWB.
34. That you love Nickelback and you refuse to be made to feel bad about it.
35. What a total bitch you can be, usually to the people you love the most.
36. That it takes everything in you to get up and workout but once you start, it's really difficult for you to stop.
37. That you still use hitting as a very important flirting tool.
38. What a "big, dumb nerd" you are.
39. How anal retentive you are (if you know me, you know all about this).
40. That usually you like the cover of a song better than the original.
Monday, June 21, 2010
June 21st, 2010
Starting Weight: 276
Current Weight: 254
Weight Lost: 22
Goal Weight: 150
Weight Left: 104
Current Weight: 254
Weight Lost: 22
Goal Weight: 150
Weight Left: 104
Sunday, June 13, 2010
June 13th, 2010
Starting Weight: 276
Current Weight: 256
Weight Lost: 20
Goal Weight: 150
Weight Left: 106
Current Weight: 256
Weight Lost: 20
Goal Weight: 150
Weight Left: 106
I can't be tamed.
My life has been really awful up until about a month ago. Then, all of a sudden, it all turns around: I got REALLY good grades, my body is shrinking, stuff with friends is good, and then there's this beautiful boy who has... well, I'm going to call it an interest in me. I'm not really sure what's going on there. It's progressing and changing everyday and I'm not sure what to think, we'll see as the summer goes on what happens.
In the beginning of April I bought new jeans for my Godson, Ronny's, baptism and they were 20s! I've been in a 22 for at least the past two years. Now, a little less than 3 months later, they are falling off of me. I'm still a little too big for 18s but I think in about 5-10 more pounds I can move down a size. :)
I'm just really looking forward to getting thinner and healthier because if my life is this good right now, I can't imagine how things are going to fall together for me when I'm where I want to be.
I weighed myself yesterday and it's official: I've lost 20 pounds! :) I've never lost this much weight before. I'm overjoyed. This means I only have 10 pounds left to go until I reach my "Back to school" weight goal. :) I honestly think I can do another 15-20.
And last night I was talking to a friend and apparently her younger sister, who is just BEAUTIFUL, told her randomly that "Addy is drop dead gorgeous. I know that once she's where she wants to be she's gonna see it too." I almost started crying. What a sweet thing to say. I think this touched me so much because I'm not very close with this girl. Of course your friends are going to think you're beautiful/pretty/etc but for someone (especially someone as pretty as this girl is [think Taylor Swift but prettier]) that you're not that close to to say that. It made me so happy.
I was talking to Libby last week and I was telling her now that I'm getting smaller that I've been feeling beautiful and even a little sexy and that made her so happy. She told me that I'm starting to see what everyone else sees. I am really loving this feeling. I'm starting to feel less and less like the "Fat Girl". I'm excited.
It's been hard for me to notice but I've been hearing how much thinner I look lately, A LOT. My friend, Libby, said I look fantastic the other day and yesterday morning Katie told me that I looked "so skinny". I had to make photo comparisons to really see the change. This is me, 18 pounds lighter/thinner than I was in Feb/March of 2010. It feels so good. What do you think?
In the beginning of April I bought new jeans for my Godson, Ronny's, baptism and they were 20s! I've been in a 22 for at least the past two years. Now, a little less than 3 months later, they are falling off of me. I'm still a little too big for 18s but I think in about 5-10 more pounds I can move down a size. :)I'm just really looking forward to getting thinner and healthier because if my life is this good right now, I can't imagine how things are going to fall together for me when I'm where I want to be.
I weighed myself yesterday and it's official: I've lost 20 pounds! :) I've never lost this much weight before. I'm overjoyed. This means I only have 10 pounds left to go until I reach my "Back to school" weight goal. :) I honestly think I can do another 15-20.
And last night I was talking to a friend and apparently her younger sister, who is just BEAUTIFUL, told her randomly that "Addy is drop dead gorgeous. I know that once she's where she wants to be she's gonna see it too." I almost started crying. What a sweet thing to say. I think this touched me so much because I'm not very close with this girl. Of course your friends are going to think you're beautiful/pretty/etc but for someone (especially someone as pretty as this girl is [think Taylor Swift but prettier]) that you're not that close to to say that. It made me so happy.
I was talking to Libby last week and I was telling her now that I'm getting smaller that I've been feeling beautiful and even a little sexy and that made her so happy. She told me that I'm starting to see what everyone else sees. I am really loving this feeling. I'm starting to feel less and less like the "Fat Girl". I'm excited.
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